I've been lying here for five minutes and all I can do is listen to the hum of the appliances and the hint of traffic on the street below. It's quiet in here, the light is very white, exaggerated by the colourless sky and the puffs of smoke coming from the apartment buildings in the distance. I can just catch a glimpse from my position on the bed. I pause to cough and I feel every bit the pitiful sight I must be. My hair is disheveled, my eyes are red, my skin sallow.
As usual I only seem to write when I am feeling most horrible, which must cause most people to think that I am a very depressing sort indeed. However, despite my somewhat miserable state I am not so unhappy as one might be led to believe. I'm happy to be back home with such easy access to my friends that I felt separated from for the past month while I was away. I'm happy to see the photo wall that Aryn finished while I was away. There is more of course, but every time I cough my mind pauses and I lose my train of thought. Perhaps it was not the best idea to attempt to write at the moment.
I seem to be going to through a pretty intense domestic revival these days (well, except for washing dishes and cleaning, those are things best left for my housekeeper/best handyman boyfriend in the world!). I seem to be more knit centric than anything, although I'm sure soon that I will be bringing out the sewing machine.
The camera shop took over four floors of an old brick building. When you entered the store there was a spiral staircase that curved upwards towards a large skylight. It was lit at various spots on the way up with photo umbrellas (nice touch). Despite the cool location the customer service was completely lacking. I stood around for nearly ten minutes while the girl behind the counter had a conversation with some customer (except he wasn't buying anything) about what they both thought about the new 5D and other various camera talk. I wouldn't have minded waiting so much, except they were clearly done whatever business needed to be done and had moved on to a more casual conversation. Anyhow, very lame. But I did get to rent the 16-35mm f2.8L for the evening (fast and wide, just what I want... Wade, I won't forget that you are buying the 17-40 from me when I upgrade) and I got a replacement eyecup for my viewfinder. After we left the store (after I paused to photograph the spiral staircase), we saw a sign for an open house for a property across the street and we decided to check it out. As we were crossing the street we heard some frantic honking and turned to see our friends Carina and Peter stopped at the intersection we were crossing. It was pretty funny to run into them, especially considering the size of Toronto. We stopped and chatted for a few minutes, made some plans to meet up later tonight. Aryn and I decided to skip the open house (the house ended up looking a little disappointing from the outside) and instead hopped back on the streetcar to High Park. One of my favourite things about visiting new cities is to go stroll through different residential neighbourhoods and imagine what it would be like to live there. I've always wanted to visit the High Park area, both the homes and the park itself, but I must admit what I saw this afternoon was a little disappointing. Although, turns out we didn't actually walk through High Park, but instead had walked through Parkside. We figured this out once we stopped for some hot chocolate at a random coffee shop, but by then it was getting late and we needed to head back to Hotel Xarina so that A.boy could get some naptime in. So, once again my visit to High Park is postponed. I have a feeling though that I won't like it as much as the more urban neighbourhoods that we visited during our last trip to Toronto, or as much as the houses in the Beaches. But, I won't know until I actually get to see the houses with my own two damaged eyes.
Now I'm just sitting here listening to the traffic on the street below. The apartment is a little chilly, but that's because we don't have the heat on. Our friends will be meeting us soon, as well as my cousin. We're going to find someplace interesting for dinner and then figure out what exhibits we are going to see tonight. I'm really excited. I've been looking forward to this for months and although I am not feeling that great it's only one night and I can rest once I get back home. I didn't bring my card reader or usb cable for my camera with me so I can't upload any of the photos I took today. I'll have to process everything when I get back.
I have just realized that I forgot Wade's monopod at home. Good thing I am renting a fast lens for this evening. It's almost one o'clock here and Aryn is still in the process of waking up. He's had a busy week preparing for Edmonton's Ride Share week (carpool.ca, look it up) and needs his rest now so that he will be able to last the evening strolling around the various exhibits/installations tonight. We'll probably head out soon, leave our friend's third storey walkup on Yonge, visit the camera shop to pick up my lens and pick up a few camera related items (perhaps maybe a new eyecup to replace the one I lost at the film festival the other night) and look for some cheap toques and gloves because it is rather chilly here and we both forgot to grab those particular items from the box marked inclement weather wear on our way out the door. What were we thinking? We weren't.
The first time I visited Toronto I didn't much appreciate it. I wasn't feeling very good at the time (which is sort of like now, I feel a cold coming on), and I was overwhelmed by the size of the buildings and the amount of people. Mind you I hadn't spent much time in cities at that point and the only part I visited happened to be an extremely busy stretch in front of three downtown hospitals and then a new apartment complex that seemed very unfriendly. I will admit that my outlook has changed greatly in these past ten years, especially after A. and I visited Toronto last year and explored many of the different communities within the city's core. I like the city because of it's mix of old and new. Edmonton has a completely different aesthetic. I like Toronto's row houses, the mix of crumbly old brick buildings with steel towers. There are real layers here. One thing though, I don't have any desire to drive here (but I don't really have that desire in Edmonton either).
Oh, I think the white bear is about to come out of hibernation now. Now to take to the streets.
So today at the airport I was randomly chosen for a search (oh lucky me) which included a ridiculous body pat down, preceded with the question, "are there any parts of your body where you have recently had surgery or are feeling tender?" This "random" search also included the patting down of my hair. I know my hair can be quite voluminous at times, but honestly what could I have hidden in there?
I must get some sleep already. It's early morning here in Toronto and I need to get some sleep so that tomorrow I will have lots of energy to explore the cool exhibits at Nuit Blanche. Even though this will be a very whirlwind trip it feels good to be in a big city again. I'm more equipped photographically this time. Now if only the wireless connection would hold steady long enough for me to post this.
Ever read something and not recognize yourself in it? I was looking through some old papers this morning and I came across this introduction to a paper I wrote a few years ago.
One may suggest that there is something hypocritical in the idea of the globalization of the anti-globalism movement. Does it not seem contrary to the movement itself to unify or create a global anti-globalism movement? So many of the connotations of globalization, inherent in the increase of media conglomerates and mega-corporations, seem to suggest that globalization equals sameness and integration of ideals. In this frame of understanding, altering the current path of globalization (or in terms of 80s pop lyrics Stop the World) would mean that the smaller anti-globalism groups must assimilate (again in terms of 80s pop lyrics Melt with You) into their own mega-movement. But there is a flaw in this “I’ll Stop the World and Melt with You” anthem. Globalization in its current form, imbued with neoliberal values, is not the only option. There are other alternatives, and the anti-globalism movement is not forced to combine efforts as one faceless movement, a melted anti-globalism army, in order to revise the future of globalization.
Where is that girl now?
I spent the morning by the river today. I don't get to spend nearly enough time there. It's a very calming place and when I visit there I feel like I am removed from the rest of the city. I need to make a conscious effort to go there more often.
my housekeeper comes back from his conference today, which means I have to make the house presentable for his return. Otherwise he will wonder what I have been up to for the past week. Ordinarily I have no patience for housework and will always do it grudgingly. However, since my studio is now a live and work situation and I can use tidying up as a procrastination technique (and also as a much needed break from lengthy article reviews). In fact this entire week I've actually enjoyed a little Mary Poppins type tidyup. Clothes have been flying across the room and folding themselves. My camera equipment has marched itself back to the camera cabinet, the dishes have washed and stacked themselves. Which makes me think a little... Disney always seems to fantasize the cleaning process, besides Mary Poppins think of The Sword in the Stone or Sorcerer's Apprentice. This must have a lot to do with my dislike of housekeeping.
My course went live last night and I am back on the academic train. I plan to spend the remainder of the year immersed in research. I am very excited. It is such a relief to only have to concentrate on school now, instead of balancing both work and studies. I have found that I really dislike having to work and study at the same time. I don't know how other people do it so effectively. It's not as if I had a job where I was being paid merely to be a physical presence behind a desk. I had obligations and responsibilities. The first few weeks of any new course I was always rather diligent, but eventually work would take over and school would get pushed to the side. Well no more.
When I first started blogging back in 2004 it was sort of an experiment to see how this tool might affect how I approached learning and research. Setting up my own blog was a way of immersing myself in the content of a my then current research paper (I was writing about the impacts of blogging on the academic community). Academic research has typically been cloaked in secrecy. This makes sense when people gain recognition from their ideas and it can be the race to be the first to publish about a certain new concept. Then of course there is also the issue of plagiarism. However, I was interested to see how academics blogging about their research or their experiences was shaping the educational community. I started university before the whole wikipedia craze took hold and finding information online was still a bit of a crapshoot. So it's been amazing to see how rapidly the initial approach to research has changed. Although I still have to refer to journals and books for the bulk of my research, I am also able to find additional perspectives (albeit a little less formal) from these same authors from their blogs or websites. It could be the content that I'm researching (I'm a communications scholar after all), but it seems that people are more willing to share information, share about their struggles, and give hints about new topics of research or projects. People are still conscious of keeping some ideas to themselves, because there is that risk of revealing too much. There just seems to be more openness when it comes to sharing information. And for someone who has to engage with her academic community with next to no face-to-face contact, it is very refreshing.
Knowing the challenges I have faced with feeling to distanced from school and then getting depressed (or the other way around), I'm trying to use this space to keep myself active and immersed in my studies. It helps me to write about it. This is part of the reason why I resigned from my job, so I had no excuses that work was taking up too much of my time. I will be focused on one thing, finishing off these last courses. Now I have the freedom to approach them in whatever manner I think is best. What an exciting prospect.
There is a lot of politicking going on these days and I've found it rather fascinating to compare the level of spectacle in the goings on of the Canadians vs. the Americans. In simplistic terms the Canadian political system tends to lack the bright lights and high production values of the Americans, which of course works both for and against them. Generally the level of spectacle in the American system bothers me except when it comes to the photographic coverage of the campaigns and recent conventions. I watched two interesting slideshows today on the New York Times which included some of the perspectives of the photographers who were on the campaign trail or present at the conventions. One slideshow followed photographer Damon Winter on Obama's campaign trail while the other followed a group of photographers who were capturing history at the conventions The pairing of the imagery with the photographers' narration was very interesting. Aryn and I were talking about my seemingly lack of interest or avoidance of conversations about politics in the last few years, a response due in part to the fact that I'm a bit of an idealistic sap and it bothers me to see politicians becoming even more like celebrities and their speeches becoming hollywoodized. However, despite my dislike for the glitz and glamour of politics I can't help but be fascinated by the imagery that documents it. Of the two slideshows that I watched today, the photos that interested me most were the photos of the two conventions featuring the protests and the photographers' vision. I'm not sure what it was, but these photos provided a stronger connection to what has been happening, more so than any other media coverage. Perhaps it is because these photos were taken in the midst of all the activity. The photographers were right there, they were experiencing what was going on. I think it might also be how I react to photography. A still image is something I can study. It encapsulates a period in time, it freezes light and shadow.
I've decided that I will finally start calling myself a photographer. When people ask what I do I will tell them I am a photographer. It is what I do. I don't quite take my camera everywhere, because it does get in the way of me interacting normally... but when I do get a chance I do carry it with me most places. My friends are mostly used to it now. I like documenting life like this. After all, I spend my day trying to look at things differently. When I was younger and I would go out walking I would always try to describe what I saw. I have found that as I have grown older this habit has remained but the words translate to images which in turn translates to a technical analysis of how I might shoot that particular scene. Just this evening as the sun was setting I looked behind me towards the bedroom and I could see the light in my apartment slowly disappear. I wanted to document this movement of light. I wanted to show the shadows creeping over the furniture, pushing the light back out the windows and across the west until it sank below the horizon. I did nothing though... knowing full well that by the time I had my camera ready the light would all be gone. So instead I write about it here and catalog the scene in my brain. That will have to be enough for now. One of these days I'll photograph such a scene.
I've had one of those weekends that was particlarly fruitful photographically, quite possibly only because I didn't have any deadlines and the photos had no other purpose than a little artistic expression. I don't know what I'd do without my camera. I used to draw a little... and sometimes I will write a little, but I've never found that either of those activities fulfill me the same way that taking pictures does. I make this realization every so often, and this weekend it happened again as I was reviewing the shots from my most recent photo excursions. Tom, Wade, and I went out for a few brief hours to various parts of the city I had never been before. We wandered over and under bridges, aimlessly strolling with our cameras. I wanted to stop and sit for a while and take it all in. At one point we stood on the rusty Dawson Bridge that stretches over the north saskatchewan river and we watched some canoeists lazily paddle through the water. I kept my lens trained on them for some time... waiting as the crept through the frame. I am consciously trying to slow down when I'm taking photographs... actually I'm trying to make a conscious effort to slow down when I do anything, just so I can enjoy what I'm doing. I have one week left at work and I know it's going to be a busy one. I'm looking forward to finishing up with this position, so that I can spend a few months concentrating on the important things. I feel like my mind has been so cluttered lately and I haven't been able to properly process things. I want to slow things down so I can actually listen to people, get things done in my life, and take the time to just see what's going on around me. If inspiration strikes while I'm taking it all in, I might just take a photo.
The second Pecha Kucha night was held on Thursday. As per what has become my usual volunteer contributions, I created the poster, assembled the presenter packages and master presentation, helped orient the presenters before the event, and acted as the main photographer for the event. All behind the scenes kind of stuff, but still stuff I enjoy. Tonight I edited some of the images from the event (held in the Westbury Theatre at the Transalta Arts Barn) and posted the first 30 or so images to flickr. I'm pretty low key when it comes to photographing an event like this. I tend to shoot with available light (even though I do have a speedlite) and I kind of wander aimlessly with my camera. You can't always fully enjoy an event when you're taking photos. You have to pay attention to everything that is going on. And, for an event like this, it is equally important to pay attention to the audience as well as the presenters. When the intermission rolls around you don't get as much chance to mingle because you should be photographing everyone else mingling. You also don't get a chance to eat anything or drink anything, mostly because you're hauling around your camera and other assorted gear. Ordinarily this wouldn't bother me, because for one I like to take pictures and I like to be behind the scenes. However, I know more people in Edmonton now... particularly at these events and I'd like a chance to stop and chat. But I know that if I didn't have my camera with me I'd probably be wishing that I did.
that's my curse. I'll just have to live with it.
11:24 pm, Thursday night.
I have nothing to say, except everything of course.
I should have gone exploring with my camera today. After dinner Aryn was sitting on the couch, reading a magazine, and I had a sudden desire to take his photo. The second I began to frame the shot he stopped and gave me this look of complete frustration. He wasn't going to cooperate. My subject was hostile, there was no coaxing him otherwise tonight. It was too bad though. It was a great shot, one that really captured Aryn and his number one pastime, reading. I know I have plenty of other shots of him reading... but I like documenting our life. Often I'm just a disembodied limb or a face taken from arm's length. Aryn's the one who inhabits the space. He's the figure that I have to convince to let me photograph in the house.
Tonight I made do with pieces of me.
Yellow Submarine... Ringo finally gets to sing.
These donuts are the definition of bite-size.
5 minutes until intermission, enjoying the show too much to post anything. It's that entertaining.
Medley of favourites.
Did I mention that the expert is also a percussionist. He just gave a thumbs up for Ringo's recent eight stroke roll.
Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends.
The crowd is definitely enjoying the show so far. There is always the clap of recognition when the band begins to play songs that they recognize. Currently, McCartney (Tony Kishman) is singing Yesterday with full accompaniment from the orchestra. I don't know if it's just where I'm sitting but the crowd seems to be made up lots of couples. Sunday night is date night it would seem. And what better place to be than SSSUTS.
oh costume change.
Impromptu Audience Quiz...
2 out of 5 patrons agree, George Harrison is their favourite Beatle.
1 is ambivalent
1 prefers Ringo, the Ringo who was the former narrator for the Thomas the Tank Engine series.
1 is in love with Lennon (typical)
and 1 hates them all equally, or was that likes them all equally.
I've been told that this will be the best show of the series. Since I spent so much time yesterday complaining about the weather I think it's fitting that I make some sort of comment, the weather is rather pleasant in comparison. I don't anticipate feeling the same degree of cold.
Show is about to begin in five minutes.
I didn't get a chance to post my final thoughts from the Saturday performance of SSUTS, so I will now (I should have been using this acronym for the Sobeys Symphony Under the Sky yesterday, would have saved me some precious typing time). I had some grand ideas about what I would be posting about before I got to the park, but I realized during the show that I wanted to structure my posts to approximately one post per piece... and in the midst of trying to enjoy the music and take some photos of the event that did not violate any terms of agreement with the orchestra (although I did see many other photographers there taking pictures to their hearts content, but there was no formal announcement made instructing patrons(?) not to take photos), I had to sacrifice some of my wordier notions in order to get posts up in real time. However, I have collected my thoughts and I have plenty of time available to me now, so I will proceed with my review/overview/synposis/debrief of last night's performance. I will warn you, this may be long winded as I'm in the mood to document my entire experience. We'll see where this takes me.
For me, the experience of any sort of event begins on my way to the venue. Aryn and I are ardent pedestrians and we constantly face the challenge of figuring out how we will get anywhere. We don't mind this hassle, if we owned a car we would constantly be figuring out how we would park it, not to mention all the other responsibilities that owning a vehicle entails. I'm generally quite happy to walk everywhere (makes me feel a bit like a perpetual tourist, particularly since I'm often walking around with a camera) but time and distance plays a big part in my decision to rely solely on my feet. In planning the trek to Hawrelak, I soon discovered that ETS would be providing free shuttle service from the Park N' Ride at the university. There problem solved. All we needed to do was hop on the LRT to the University and we'd have no issues. However, the LRT was not running across the river as they are in the process of replacing the signal lights on the LRT bridge. Instead we would have to take the LRT shuttle from Corona to the University. This all seemed like a perfectly reasonable solution, and had we arrived at home with enough time to eat dinner all would have been well and good. In the end, we ate a rushed supper of rewarmed (but delicious) potato and leek soup, and then almost at the moment we lay our spoons down the taxi arrived to take us to the park.
You may wonder why I bore you all with this story of transportation, but for me getting to and from a place is half the battle (others might tell the story of trying to park their car) and I always appreciate any efforts by an event organizer to make getting there to be as easy as possible. Speaking of which, when we arrived at the park, our taxi had to let us off near the entrance of the closest parking lot. It's a bit of a distance from the amphitheatre and I was beginning to get worried that we were going to arrive late. However, one of the helpful volunteers who was driving the golf cart shuttle (provided mostly for seniors I presume) had no passengers and invited us to hop on. Aryn is a strapping twenty-something (as am I, although less strapping and more sturdy), so we generally don't get to experience this sort of convenience. I felt pampered by the service and I was definitely appreciative that the organizers include this feature for their guests. It certainly proved handy as our tickets were taken at the gate, we were handed a program, and we found a spot on the grass suspiciously near the mini donut stand.
Evenings like Night at the Movies are always some of the more accessible ESO performances. Since moving to Edmonton two years ago, I've had the benefit of attending SSUTS three times as well as numerous ESO performances at the Winspear. I am by no means a studied music critic, but I do have an appreciation for classical music. That sounds like a cliché, and it is, but sometimes clichés are the best way to express something. I grew up listening to a smattering of the classics and opera, and aside from Vivaldi's Four Seasons and other such popular works, I cannot distinguish one composer from another. That's not to say that I can't, or that anyone can't... but classical music can be intimidating to those who have never experienced before. If you are listening to a piece that you have never heard before, not everyone will be able to enjoy the intricate layers of sound that a symphony produces. However, I like to compare going to the symphony to discovering to a new band that you've never heard before. You need to be drawn in by a piece that you like... and that will lead you to explore other works by that artist. Sometimes you will find that you only like a certain style, while in other cases you may find yourself exploring a direction that is entirely unexpected. Yesterday's performance is sort of like this, as are almost any SSUTS performances. The venue at Hawrelak Park is casual and festive... there was even a Mexican food vendor this year, in addition to the ever so popular mini-donuts stand, which if you are reading any of the other SSUTS blogs you'll notice that the one recurring theme in our posts is mini-donuts. Particularly for yesterday evenings performance, the selection of music is also recognizable. Nearly every genre of film was represented... western, drama, romance, fantasy, musical, science fiction, even action. The music was easy to put in context. You could tell that throughout the crowd people were having their "a-ha" (a-ha, as in not the band, but eureka, as in not the tv show) moments, when a piece was played that they recognized the score. I always find it interesting to listen to film scores independently from a film, because it can be so easy to overlook (or should I say, overhear) this integral part of a film. The music contributes so much to the feeling of a film, and it is amazing how different music can effect the overall impact of a movie.
Aside: Reminded of the trend a couple years back to mash up old movie trailers with different editing and music to create something with an entirely different feel, check out this trailer
Losing steam here... I'll wrap it up. Performances like Night at the Movies are a good introduction to the ESO. The atmosphere is fun and the music is accessible. This is not to say that other performances by the ESO do not share these same qualities. I think they do. The conductors, particularly Bill Eddins, do a fantastic job at engaging the crowd with the context of the various pieces that the symphony performs. Even I, the non-musician, am able to enjoy the wide variety of music that the symphony plays. I certainly hope that more people begin to take advantage of having a symphony within this city, attending other shows throughout the season. I should put in a plug for the Puls8 Club (yes the 'club' at the ESO), where symphonic music fans from 18 - the strapping and sturdy ages of the late 20s (up to 29) can get tickets to ESO performances for $15 (plus agency fees). $15 for an ESO performance is a bloody steal.
Anyhow, I must prep for the concert this evening. My parents are in town and my siblings and I are taking them to the show. It looks like the weather is going to be a repeat of yesterday and I need to locate some of my winter wear.
I'm looking forward to the Classical Mystery Tour tomorrow.
Star Trek intro narration. Most entertaining.
Star Trek Through the Years
(various / arr. Custer)
TV Theme / Deep Space Nine / The Inner Light / Star Trek: Generations / Star Trek Voyager / Star Trek: The Motion Picture
I wish I could take more photos of the performance. For me much of the excitement of this event is not just the music but also the visuals. I love when the sun sets and the lights of the amphitheater turn on, creating a splash of colour of the tent above.
Finale complete. More again tomorrow.
Oklahoma!: Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'
(Rodgers/Hammerstein / arr. Bennet)
We should all close our eyes for this one. Imagine corn as high as an elephant's eye, etc, etc, etc.
Apparently Hamilton sees the squirrels too. And he likes to kiss old ladies. Obviously much of the humour is lost in translation. I wish I had brought some mittens like Aryn. My fingers are ready to fall off.
Oklahoma! Surrey With a Fringe on Top
(Rodgers/Hammerstein / arr. Bennet)
Hamilton recently performed the role of Curly in an Ontario production of Oklahoma! (I wonder if the exclamation point is meant to differentiate the state from the musical?)
Surprise!
Theme from Oklahoma!
Yet another sing-along for the crowd. Now it's our turn... I don't think many people know the lyrics because I don't hear anyone.
The Magnificent Seven / Dances with Wolves / How the West Was Won / Silverado
The gentleman next to me (not Aryn) has been looking forward to this one all evening. His daughter has just kindly informed us (and everyone within earshot) that hot chocolate is $2 at the main refreshment tent. If only we hadn't blown our spare change on the mini donuts.
Pause to enjoy the music.
(Apparently the concession is out of hot chocolate)
It is really starting to get cold outside. I see dozens of people carrying wrapping themselves in blankets of all descriptions. Aryn has donned his winter jacket as well as toque and gloves. If I weren't typing my fingers would probably have frozen off.
Aryn was successful in his snack gathering mission. Evidence below.
Observes Aryn. There are squirrels in the tree.
I see the orchestra assembling on stage. Announcement, the second half will begin in five minutes.
Ha.... People are running in place to keep warm.
and now...
The Lion King: Can You Feel the Love Tonight?
(music by Elton John / lyrics by Tim Rice / arranged by Gordon Goodwin)
Don't know if I care for this arrangement. Too quick... vocalist sounds a bit too country for my liking. But then, I am comparing with the original version. I should stop.
Wowsers, intermission already. Aryn's off to get mini donuts. Run Aryn Run!
(Rodgers/Hammerstein / arr. Bennet)
Tyler Hamilton on stage.
Roger Bernhardt remembers to thank the sponsors. As Tyler waits, we learn that this festival has been "greened". ETS has hybrid shuttles, ESO staff are throwing frisbees from Bullfrog Power.
I forgot how much of a joker the conductor is.
Hamilton channels Captain Von Trapp. Does he have the same distinguished air as Christopher Plummer? I don't know, I can't really see that far. Crowd sing-along for the second verse. I don't hear Aryn singing. I think he's holding back. Doesn't want to drown out the soprano beside me.
mild applause
(Gregson-Williams/arr. Bulla)
I'm regretting not bringing a blanket. The sun is going down and I'm beginning to get cold. The current selection, which is rather suspenseful is not helping.
Aryn is feeding me lines. I will indicate them with italicized text
Orchestra is illuminated by the setting sun.
Eight minutes was over faster than I could have ever imagined.
Bernhardt is discussing film scoring... inviting Tyler Hamilton on stage.
Now an excerpt from The Way We Were... the lady next to me is channeling a little Babs mouthing the lyrics.
Oooh, the crowd pleaser. Rocky theme. I see heads bobbing and fingers tapping while people recall Sly Stallone in his famous grey tracksuit.
Round of applause... some guy yelling Adrian behind me. Oh and the whistles. And now conductor Robert Bernhardt hams it up with the crowd, yelling the same thing. Cracking jokes, letting the crowd know that the order of the program is going to change, and next up the orchestra will be playing Mahlers 9th Symphony. Polite laughter.
Factoid. The Way We Were was filmed at Bernhardt's alma mater in Skinectity, New York during his senior year of high school.
Right now the symphony is playing the Big Movie Suite, with selections from Gone with the Wind, Ben Hur, Laura, Dr. Zhivago, Lawrence of Arabia, Rocky, The Pink Panther, and The Way We Were (IMDB links to come).
It's a rather chilly night for Symphony Under the Sky. I've gone for the last three summers that I've been in Edmonton and this is the only one where I've seen people snuggled under sleeping bags and wearing toques. I'm hoping that the vendors have some warm beverages, because it would be lovely to have a hot chocolate during the intermission.
I feel slightly ridiculous sitting here typing this post. As far as I can see I'm the only person live blogging this evening, unless there are some others who are surreptiously posting from their mobile devices. Aryn is hassling me to post this. And so I will.
I've been having a rough go with things lately. Things should be going well for me, I have good friends, a nice house, a job that pays reasonably well. But for whatever reason I'm not feeling all that great. Self censorship prevents me from delving into exactly what's been bothering me, but whether it be some circumstance under my control or some other deeper issue, I feel like a hopeless case. I have my good days, but then there are the days when all I want to do is close the blinds and hide under the covers, seeing no one, talking to no one, except my jail keeper who will come by every now and again with a metal plate with my dinner and water refills. I am definitely feeling that way now. I always joke about being a melancholic, but I'm really tired of feeling this way. Every so often I'll have bursts of a good mood. I took photos for work on Wednesday and there was a moment when I was on the rooftop of one of the university residences that I discovered a set of tennis courts on top of a parkade (as seen in the photo above). It was completely unexpected and absolutely delightful. For the brief minute that I looked out over the courts and the rest of the city I was truly happy. I live for moments like that. It relaxes me to be able to sit back and imagine what goes on in these scenes I come across. Perhaps it's just what I do to forget about my own problems... but I like to think of it as something more creative than that. However, tonight I'll be thinking about a story to match this scene so I can go to bed and not let my daily troubles keep me from sleeping.
Somehow we've reached the end of August and I am sad for it. The summer is definitely my favourite time of the year although I spend too much time complaining about the heat after the sun and I have had one of our annual run-ins. It's been a busy summer, there was a weekend on the coast, another weekend camping, and plenty of others filled with local festivals or just hanging out with friends late into the evening. I am looking forward to the next seasons though... in October I get to spend a couple days in Toronto (which reminds me, I should let my relatives know I'm coming down) for Nuit Blanche, Christmas is on the coast this year, and I have a stash of yarn that I need to get too. I want one last big summer hurrah though. Hopefully we'll have some warm weather in September, warm enough to warrant a weekend camping somewhere (not that I'm much of a camper, I like it because it is an excuse to lie down and read all day).
This weekend I'll be live blogging two performances of the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra's Symphony Under the Sky event. My friend (who I will call philharmonica) works for the ESO and has kindly hooked me up with this volunteer gig. Unfortunately I won't be able to post any photos of the orchestra (fingers crossed that one day we'll get permission), but I will post some shots of the audience and the outdoor venue at Hawrelak Park. It should be a lot of fun. I always enjoy the symphony performances that I have been able to attend. I will do my best to provide a layperson's depiction of the event. It will be good to flex my writing muscles that have remained unused for quite some time.
I think I've written myself to sleep here. Tomorrow/today I will be spending the day with a highly practiced and very talented architectural photographer taking photographs of the Mazankowski Alberta Heart Institute. This is the greatest perk of my job. I've been able to shoot with this guy a couple times now and I'm really learning a lot. He's hilarious and so much fun to be around. It's amazing how different work can be when you're doing something you really love.
I'm the first to admit that I don't have a knack for running my own business. It just doesn't interest me. I had toyed with having a photography business, but so far I haven't done accomplished anything successfully. It's my own fault really... I let myself become distracted by being depressed or tired and let things fall to the wayside. In an effort to not be so depressed and tired I told myself that I would only use photography as something that could make me happy, which meant shooting entirely for myself. Very occasionally I am convinced otherwise though... usually when my life is feeling a bit more balanced and the prospective shoot is a lot of fun. A few weeks ago a former coworker contacted me on flickr and asked if I wanted to help out his younger sister who had made it through the first round of Alberta's Next Top Model competition and needed a few shots for the second set of auditions. Obviously, as you can see from the photo above it was a request that I found hard to refuse.
I'm continually torn between my current choice of keeping my photography habit casual and my desire to pursue things professionally. I know that I cannot work full-time and try to make money from photos at the same time, because I quickly exhaust myself and then everyone suffers. I also can't quit my job and take pictures full-time because I won't make enough to live on and then I will suffer. However, I am in a unique position in my current job where I have the opportunity to combine work and my love for photos. It's the reason why I took this job, and it's the one thing that motivates me right now. I just have to stick with it and eventually I might be taking photos even more frequently than I am now.
My coworker taught me a persian saying the other day... only the first hundred years are tough... it's so true. We remind each other nearly every day. Life is difficult, there's no way to avoid it.
I've realized my moods are like a summer thunder shower. They're intense and short. I suppose I should clarify that I mean my good moods. Sometimes I can tell they're approaching and ready myself, but most of the time they come from nowhere and by the time people are ready for it my excitement is over. Sounds a bit pathetic but it's true.
There are times when the weekend rolls seamlessly into the week. We return to work feeling refreshed and revitalized. It's a brand new week. However, there are other times when we find ourselves back at a desk and it seems like we've never left. The world has a funny way of reminding us that things don't change much when we're away. My coworker for example, she was away for a week on the BC Coast and had all but forgotten about the daily stresses of the workplace. However, when she put on the stereo in the car this morning, the exact same song that she was listening to on the way home from work on her last day before vacation came on. It was as if she had never left. This is really not that amazing, considering it was a track on a cd that she was listening to, and her stereo will automatically start where it left off. At the same time though, it can be slightly disconcerting... an unwelcome welcome back.
If you've spent anytime on my photostream lately, you may have noticed an increase in the number of diptychs I've been posting. I haven't been shooting with diptychs in mind, but when I've been processing my images I've found that alone the images do not convey as much of the story I want to tell. I also like how the juxtaposition of two images can actually make two weak images more visually appealing just through comparison and relation. It's fascinating really. Perhaps it's fascinating only to me because I know the larger context of the images. I can recall the feeling and mood of the room when the images were taken. At least initially I can. Photographs take on a life of their own once you view them in isolation. They can start to suggest a different story, particularly when you place them next to another image.
if only I could survive off of letting other people see what I see.
I stayed at home today... not in the mood to talk to anyone or really do anything. The first bit of conversation after a day alone is always the strangest. Hearing words spoken by someone else isn't as odd as hearing the words that you are saying. You've spent your entire day listening to other sounds. Your only contribution has been to breathe, chew, swallow. Your own voice becomes foreign, and when you finally speak, you kind of miss the silence. I don't think I could live like this for very long. Eventually I might forget how to speak.
A few more days wouldn't be so bad though. If the rain were to keep up and I had an endless supply of books and movies I might be inclined. Although I love to sit and listen to the sounds of the street below, it's hardly something that captures my attention for an entire day. I wish my apartment would stay the same, but the scenery would move past me slowly, as if it were on a moving sidewalk. Sunny days would be a different story... I don't need the sidewalk to move for me, just a sidewalk that I can move on.
yes, it's that time already. Bon Voyage in reverse.
I'm returning to Canada after my little vacay in Trinidad and Tobago. Taking home the red eye to Toronto, stopping in at Venezuela... looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.
The bats are making noise in the corner of the room right now.
That is not a euphemism.
There is a nest of bats outside the house and at certain times in the evening they screech and scratch under the eaves. Aryn took to keeping a field hockey stick in the room in order to reach up high enough to smack the wall next to the little flying rodents.
I've finally returned from my week in Tobago. The majority of the time was spent at the beach... but of course I was sans internet the entire time which was moderately disconcerting for me. Thankfully I survived. I will now resume blogging my trip... if the interweb allows me.
I had been a bit concerned about bring my camera with me to Trindad and Tobago. I was worried how heavy it might be, but I had it in my mind that we were going to be doing a lot of strolling around. That has not been the case. While Tobago proved to be a bit more accessible than Trinidad for pedestrian traffic (at least where we were staying, we could walk into the village, walk to the airport, walk to a few different beaches), neither island is really one that you navigate by foot. We are always within a reasonable distance from a vehicle so it is quite easy to carry around a load of camera equipment. Europe might be another story... I would need a better camera bag to be sure... Regarding my camera though. Nearly everyone on the trip brought a camera with them. I've been downloading the photos to my computer, and so far we've taken a collection 12GB of still images and video clips. That's rather ridiculous, this has to be one of the better documented vacations I have ever taken. I have no idea when I'm going to find the time to go through all of the images and pull out the best ones to make into a 90 second recap and commemorative photo book. I suppose it will be my summer project. By the time I get back it will be June already... and then shortly there after it will be my July and my birthday. Then winter will be back again... Arrggghhh (my new saying I've just coined... argghhhyle socks)
I don't really feel like recapping my Tobago trip just now... as I'm fairly exhausted from my day touring around another part of the island with Aryn, my uncle Stephen, and my two brothers. We visited three different beaches, but I didn't go and bathe in any of them (trini slang... bathe=swim, sit in the ocean). It was a really picturesque coastline... classic shots of curving palm trees and miles and miles of sandy beach. If only my photo club had been with me... we would have had a riot of a time.
My posts have nothing of substance in them these days. I must have just got out of the habit of blogging I suppose. Time to step it up.
ahh vacation... how wonderful it is.
so far I've accomplished very little, but I really don't care. This vacation is not about seeing the sights, but to relax... and relax I have.
After arriving on Saturday evening... I sat up with my family then went to bed. Sounds uneventful, but it was late and I was tired after a day of travel. Sunday was more exciting, all of my relatives from around the island came for a party of sorts. We ate delicious roti and partied in the pool. This will turn out to be a bit of a routine I think. Monday was more of the same... My sister, sister-in-law and I hung out in the pool, indulging in the copious amounts of vitamin D available in the Caribbean. As I have the tendency to suffer from heat stroke I did my best to stay cool. However, despite my best efforts the head started to ache... and after a few hours in the sun I had to spend the rest in the shade.
Today was not much more eventful... some shopping, some driving, more eating of delicious food, more time in the pool. And the painful uploading of photos to flickr on a very sluggish internet connection. So far, I'm really enjoying the break. I have all the comforts of home, but better weather.
I just realized it's after midnight though... and I should really sleep. My younger brother and sister are watching The Shining and I don't feel like going to sleep disturbed. Funny story though, during one portion of the freaky music where the caretaker realizes that the little boy is telephathic, there was a violent banging on the doors from the outside patio. All three of us were freaked out beyond belief (ehhhhh... no eloquence tonight), but thankfully it turned out to be my cousins who were locked out of the house. It was a lot funnier than I just described it. I think I must be tired. I was hoping to write an interesting update, but instead it has turned out to be pretty dull.
you'll just have to take my word that my trip so far is awesome.
Aryn and I have found yet another free WiFi spot (thanks to AirCanada's datavalet service) and we're sitting in sunny gate 172 waiting to board our plane to Port of Spain. Our proverbial dogs are barking. The above photo is meant to illustrate this feeling. Aryn told me that my last post was looking at bit web 1.0. I don't think he knows what that means... or how that hurts me. He's wrong anyhow. I'll explain it to him later.
We just met up with our good friend Carina, who graciously came out all the way to the airport to hang out with us. We took the monorail from Terminal 1 to Terminal 3 and talked rather excitedly about all sorts of things, the recent NextGen Pecha Kucha night (perhaps I'll post about it during my vacation), Nuit Blanche, and other things that we three find to be particularly interesting. It was a really fantastic way to spend our layover at the airport. Had Aryn and I been left to our own devices we probably would have found some bench somewhere and dozed off. But that's particularly difficult to do in the Toronto airport. There are hardly any benches, and where there are places to sit, they are individual seats with rigid arms that prevent any sort of lounging. What do people have against weary travelers resting their barking dogs and tired bodies?
Aryn got bumped up to executive class on the flight to Toronto. Some woman and her two kids were going to be separated, and rather than arranging with the Air Canada staff to see if we wanted to switch one of our aisle seats so that they could sit together, the woman (on direction of one of the Air Canada staff) just took the seat. It was originally my seat, but I had switched sides with Aryn on account of my bum left knee. We walked up to our aisle and there was sort of an awkward pause... then this little exchange
The woman looked at Aryn and said, "Oh, is this your seat?"
says Aryn, "Umm, yes."
"Do you mind?" says the woman rather rudely, " because you'll have to sit by my kids."
Anyhow, there was a line building up behind Aryn so he switched to the woman's seat... but his new seat was really crappy. It had no adjustable arms, no tv (not that Aryn cared about that one), and it was behind one of the flight attendant jump seats so he had no leg room at all. Once the seatbelt sign was turned off all hell broke loose. Aryn approached the head steward (or whatever you might call him), let him know the situation. The guy realized he had an unhappy customer on his hands and he found Aryn a new seat at the front of executive class. Suddenly my life had become a Seinfeld episode.
This next flight our aisle seats have disappeared, but I'm going to see if I can work some magic and switch our seats around.
What's more ridiculous of course is the really lame elevator music that's playing. It's a sort of soft saxophone medley... perfect for a hotel restaurant with a really ugly fountain.
Since I will be bringing my computer with me on this trip I will attempt to provide regular updates of my travels. I do have to spend a fair amount of time researching for a big paper that I have to write, but because this is also vacation time I am hoping to be able to spend some time doing things that I like... mainly the taking, editing, and posting of photos.
I have nothing of interest to report at the moment. It's 5:28 am, I've had less than an hour sleep. We had a number of friends come over to bid adieu... an old coworker of mine showed up next door and I gave him a tour, and subsequently gave my neighbours and their new dog a tour of our place... then our friends gave them a tour of their apartment one floor down. And of course, while all this was going on Aryn was installing backsplash panels to go behind the open shelving in the kitchen. It was a fairly ridiculous night. After everyone left I considered not going to sleep at all, but after watching an episode of 30 Rock I gave in and attempted to get some rest for until the alarm went off at 3:45am.
Right now Aryn is stretched out across three seats trying to sleep before we board the plane. He somehow got it into his head that he will be going on some sort of semi-rugged nature walk while we are in the caribbean and wanted to bring his hiking boots. Apparently, he has no footwear that is in-between his city shoes that he wears to work, or his bierkenstocks. And because his hiking boots are so heavy he has to wear them on the plane. I tried to dissuade him. I told him that hiking boots were a little inappropriate for the tropics... and that he would never be venturing off the beaten path because there are guerillas hiding in the bushes. I was particularly amsued by this statement... I had visions of guerillas in the mist, another film starring Sigourney Weaver.
Gawd, my back is sore. I think I loaded too much into my carry on and now I've pulled a muscle. I am not looking forward to hours of plane travel. Plus I see there will be a baby on this flight. I hope he is a good traveler and falls asleep. I would like to get some shuteye on this first section of the trip. We have about six hours to kill in Toronto once we get there, and we'll have to be alert. Our friend Carina is meeting up with us and taking us to the best Swiss Chalet in the world, which apparently is in Terminal 3 of the Toronto Airport. I haven't been to a Swiss Chalet since I was ten. I don't even think I had any chicken then.
45 minutes until we board our flight. We'll arrive in Trinidad by midnight. Perhaps there will be an update from Toronto if I can locate some more free WiFi.
almost ready to leave for Trinidad... it's been nearly ten years since I was there last. I'm really excited to go. I really can't wait.
It's going to be so nice to get away. I can't sleep I'm so excited.
I'm now on my third laptop since 1999. There's something particularly satisfying about being able to carry a computer around with you... typing in semi recumbent positions, moving away from being locked at a desk all the time. My newest computer is the most portable of the bunch... and is rather lovely to port around. If I think about how much time I spend in front of the computer it's a little depressing. But with the weather as it's been for the last couple days (spring snowstorm) I haven't had much desire to do a whole lot of anything.
I hadn't blogged anything in months, and this post isn't much to speak of... but I have a couple huge papers coming up so I felt that I should get used to typing late in the night on this computer.
If I were to choose another line of work I think I would go into cinematography. Although I love still photography, there is also something about capturing movement that really appeals to me. When I finally get a new computer, I'd also like to get a video camera. But who can afford two such expensive hobbies?
I'll have to make it work somehow. After I watch a movie that has great visuals I'm always inspired to go out and try something different with my photography. However, I also want to record things in real time. There are things that the still camera doesn't record. For the time being however, I'll continue to try to think like a cinematographer.
Ahh, half an hour of time just for me. Well I did have half an hour, but I ate lunch at my desk and was interrupted and had to get back to work on a time sensitive document.
Yesterday afternoon I was ready to crack. I had been editing a document all morning and I had got to the point where I couldn't think of making any more changes. So I went for a walk around the block. I was out for about two songs on my ipod (so six minutes), but even that brief break provided enough relief to get me through the day.
Spending all day inside, looking away from the windows, I seldom get to see the activity on the street during the day. I liked being able to go for a short stroll, smiling at the elderly fellow who was out for what I can only assume was his daily constitutional. There were students on their way home from class, and the assorted other citizens running into Shoppers Drug Mart for a quick errand. I don't get to experience any of this from my cube. Although, if I turn my head I can see the sky.
Mood is considerably improved today. My self prescribed dose of art therapy did the trick I think. My photo team and I are busy planning our next session.
Tomorrow will be happier. I'll only allow myself to have one super rotten day.
This evening I went through my archives and tried to pull out photos that showcased my varying style. I needed to be inspired by my old work. I think it helped.
Oh poor unloved blog... how I have forsaken you.
I have never developed this space into anything of real value, so there are often period of many weeks where I have nothing to say or think what I have to say is of little interest to anyone but me. However, I've been composing posts since 2004 and it would be a shame to give it up now.
So for now I'll fill the void with tales of my recent photo explorations. I've made some new friends in the past few months and among these friends I've made the gleeful discovery that at least two are photographically inclined like me. I proposed the idea of a photographical slumming and they were both keen to participate. Thus Team Awesome Photo Club was born. The name in itself demonstrates the type of fun we've had together so far. We're almost constantly joking about things that I'm sure only we find funny.
We seem to only take photos when there is a severe wind chill warning on, both times we have gone out together it has hovered around the minus forty mark. I make mention of this because it demonstrates our commitment to our craft. Our next meetup is going to be inside though. Our cameras don't last that long in the cold.
It's interesting to be shooting with more people again. I had been feeling that I was looking at things in the same way and looking at the images of my comrades has freshened up my perspective.
Yesterday we took the LRT to Clareview, and explored the unattractive batch of condo complexes that sit on either side of the Park n' Ride lots at the end of the line. It was rather depressing to see these complexes in person. The buildings were uninspiring, the location (although close to the LRT) left much to be desired. Lauded in the developer's advertisements as being close to all amenities, all of the shopping consisted of bland big box developments. It was a sad sight. If the fifteen for sale signs were any indication, the residents of those complexes were not too happy with their environment either. Yet there were signs of more construction, and the grander complex was also attempting to sell affordable living starting at $239 000.
We broke for tea and light refreshments mid morning and then returned to the great outdoors heading towards Chinatown where a parade celebrating the Chinese New Year was set to begin. The parade wasn't particularly exciting, but despite the weather there was a reasonable turnout. I didn't bring the right lens for the event and my photos are all lacking something. After the parade we randomly selected a local restaurant for lunch, then stopped at the Italian Bakery for dessert. I've realized that I've skipped any interesting details of the day, but I'm tired from my company's winter gala that I went to last night and I don't have the energy to type up a witty account of my day. It's an attempt nonetheless, one day my words will return.
I hit the mid week wall. I'm exhausted and I've been dealing with tasks that should have been quite simple, but were made tedious by a slow and uncooperative computer. So I'd like to take a short mental health break to vent. However, my inner censor is preventing me from saying what I really want to say.
I shall remain mute in the corner.
It seems pointless to break the silence only when I'm in the mood to rant, but I'm feeling particularly foul today for no particular reason. I had a good weekend, I'm caught up with school, we've made a few more additions to the house and the sun is setting later in the day. But for some reason I just feel mad and need some relaxation time.
a little light therapy perhaps.
Posted above is my new dining room lamp. It hasn't been installed yet, but is hanging over the table as a suggestion of light to come.
If my flickr photostream is any indication of all I've been up to (which it is not), then it would seem that all I do is knit. Both fortunately and unfortunately this is not the case. After a period of high stress I started a new job before Christmas and I've been adjusting to the new work demands and balancing that with half-hearted attempts to do school-work and avoiding household chores.
And yet the time disappears. It seems that I never leave the house with my camera (it's been too cold) and the night seems even darker than it was before the holidays. January is a cold and dreary month. What have I to look forward to though - visions of Trinidad!
I'm going to Trinidad!
not right now though... it's still cold and miserable outside. I still have a few months to wait.
