instead of counting sheep...


rooftops of Edmonton... © Raffaella Loro

I've been having a rough go with things lately. Things should be going well for me, I have good friends, a nice house, a job that pays reasonably well. But for whatever reason I'm not feeling all that great. Self censorship prevents me from delving into exactly what's been bothering me, but whether it be some circumstance under my control or some other deeper issue, I feel like a hopeless case. I have my good days, but then there are the days when all I want to do is close the blinds and hide under the covers, seeing no one, talking to no one, except my jail keeper who will come by every now and again with a metal plate with my dinner and water refills. I am definitely feeling that way now. I always joke about being a melancholic, but I'm really tired of feeling this way. Every so often I'll have bursts of a good mood. I took photos for work on Wednesday and there was a moment when I was on the rooftop of one of the university residences that I discovered a set of tennis courts on top of a parkade (as seen in the photo above). It was completely unexpected and absolutely delightful. For the brief minute that I looked out over the courts and the rest of the city I was truly happy. I live for moments like that. It relaxes me to be able to sit back and imagine what goes on in these scenes I come across. Perhaps it's just what I do to forget about my own problems... but I like to think of it as something more creative than that. However, tonight I'll be thinking about a story to match this scene so I can go to bed and not let my daily troubles keep me from sleeping.