the business of real life...

alley kat © Raffaella Loro

I'm the first to admit that I don't have a knack for running my own business. It just doesn't interest me. I had toyed with having a photography business, but so far I haven't done accomplished anything successfully. It's my own fault really... I let myself become distracted by being depressed or tired and let things fall to the wayside. In an effort to not be so depressed and tired I told myself that I would only use photography as something that could make me happy, which meant shooting entirely for myself. Very occasionally I am convinced otherwise though... usually when my life is feeling a bit more balanced and the prospective shoot is a lot of fun. A few weeks ago a former coworker contacted me on flickr and asked if I wanted to help out his younger sister who had made it through the first round of Alberta's Next Top Model competition and needed a few shots for the second set of auditions. Obviously, as you can see from the photo above it was a request that I found hard to refuse.

I'm continually torn between my current choice of keeping my photography habit casual and my desire to pursue things professionally. I know that I cannot work full-time and try to make money from photos at the same time, because I quickly exhaust myself and then everyone suffers. I also can't quit my job and take pictures full-time because I won't make enough to live on and then I will suffer. However, I am in a unique position in my current job where I have the opportunity to combine work and my love for photos. It's the reason why I took this job, and it's the one thing that motivates me right now. I just have to stick with it and eventually I might be taking photos even more frequently than I am now.

My coworker taught me a persian saying the other day... only the first hundred years are tough... it's so true. We remind each other nearly every day. Life is difficult, there's no way to avoid it.