compare me to a clingstone peach

17.10.05


I was reminded that sometimes I am a bit much sometimes. I burden others too much, but I know why I do it. Here's my explanation, my justification if you will.

Go in for a closer look here, the description on the photo is exactly the same as the text below.

call me verbose, it won't hurt me. Well maybe it might, because my need to expel information is my greatest weakness and I know it. I am far to reliant on others to help me bear the burden of my excess thoughts and observations. This isn't a recent discovery of mine... I've always been conscious on my need to deal with things through words.

Here, pulled from the archives, is an early example of how I dealt with my emotions through words. Many thanks to my darling mama who was wise enough to save this gem from my past.

One evening in May of 1989 there was an electrical storm in the little town of Fort St. John. I was six at the time, a bright young thing in grade one. Anyways, I remember being terrified of the lightning and thunder. But I needed to do something with my fear, so I sat at the dining room table and wrote out this charming public service announcement about the dangers of lightning. Now I was a little generic about how lightning could damage a person, but I obviously I felt threatened by it enough to warn others of their impending trial by lightning and thunder. I remember writing away furiously, shaking with each thunder clap, but feeling a little more powerful after reassuring myself that I knew how to stay safe during an electrical storm. I do the same thing nowadays... I talk or write myself through a situation that I'm afraid of or is bothering me. It can be a bit trying on those around me, but I hope they understand that I need to do it in order to keep sane.

It's so amusing to look back and read this little story written by my six year old self. I survived being afraid by channeling my fear into words, badly spelled words but I was only six and damage sounds like damej doesn't it?

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