on serendipity, ladders, and other such serpentine thoughts


escape route... © Raffaella Loro

There are the occasional days when I find myself with a surplus of energy. This weekend was a little like that. Aryn told me that I had deceived him and he wondered what happened to the girl who was quite frequently tired.

Well, she's back.

After one day back at work I have come home feeling a good fifteen years older than I felt over the weekend. It's unfortuante that this feelling has returned because it is most unwelcome. I have certain things that I have planned to accomplish in the evenings but right now even typing this blog post is a chore as my eyes are struggling to stay open. This sleepy feeling that takes over my body after work wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't set myself so much to get done in the evenings. My phtoography is taking up more and more time, but when it takes several hours after work to recoup from a day spent with a variety of angels, demons, and hell spawn... I'm usually left with little time to sit down and seriously work on what I need to get done.

Bad metaphor alert... life can be like a game of snakes and ladders, sometime you are able to skip many steps and get closer to your goal but then something happens to send you sliding down... farther away from the end you have in mind. At work there is a giant snakes and ladder game painted on the ground... whenever I see it I think about the never ending complexities and challenges we face.

I keep on getting closer and closer to my eventual moving date. The months have passed by quickly but as I get closer to the actual departure to the new city, I'm starting to have difficulty thinking about how my life will change. I didn't before... it was very easy to picture things in the long term sense. For the time being I've just stopped thinking about it. I'm more concerned with the present, although right now I'm even kind of ignoring that.

I have a feeling that tonight is going to be an early night for me. I'm probably just reeling from my weekend away. I did not really go sightseeing in Kamloops (I don't really know what sights there are to see), but all the visiting and meals made for a rather busy weekend. This little trip reminded me why I like traveling so much. It's nice to go places as a visitor because you can sit and observe and there usually isn't a problem because that is what is expected from you (depending on who and were you are visiting of course). I was surrounded by people I didn't know and I was very much the outsider, but I didn't mind. I distanced myself from it all and pretended like it was all one giant photo opportunity, regardless of whether I had my camera on me or not.

perhaps next week in Vancouver will be a similar experience. I just hope that I have regained my energy by then.