when literary references go awry


Here's a scene from my Friday evening out...

a pair of very mod friends (boy and girl, mod in the stylish dress sort of way not so much the riding of motor scooters) are out for dinner at a rather trashy diner. The waitress approaches the two with her order pad and pen poised to take their order.

"Have you decided?" the waitress asks sweetly.

"We'll make this easy for you..." says the boy pausing dramatically and turning his gaze expectantly to his friend across the table, as if to pass along the conch of conversation.

Looking up the girl says, "I'll have the Count of Monte Cristo sandwich please." The waitress looks puzzled and thoroughly confused as she truly doesn't follow the rather weak literary reference.

"Pardon me?" the waitress queries leaning a little closer to the girl as if she misheard the order, because clearly the Count of Monte Cristo sandwich is not on the menu. But seeing that the metaphorical ship of understanding has long left port, the girl shakes her head and then repeats her order sticking to the ordinary menu name.

"It was a very bad joke," the girl mumbles as she turns to look out the window to see a swarm of ugly teenagers storm the entrance of the movie theatre as it is Friday night and they can stomach such bad movies as Saw II. But the scene outside is no more exciting than the scene inside the restaurant so the girl turns back to the waitress to add fries to her order.