a day in two breaks...

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. © Raffaella Loro

am

From time to time I like to entertain the notion that I am a truly fascinating individual and that people cannot be helped but be intrigued by me. And then I stop and listen to the things that I actually say and I realize that I'm quite the dullard. I walk to work in the morning with my mind teeming with a mix of pseudo-intellectual thoughts about perceptions of online identity and romantic appreciation of the subtle changes to morning light as we get closer and closer to spring. Then I step into the office and I make a generic and uninspired comment about the weather. Really, if that's all I have to say then I might as well not say anything at all. That's pretty much what I do too, I go back to my office, slightly ashamed by my lack of originality and have interesting conversations to myself while I systematically go through my daily projects and meetings.

Perhaps my poor conversation is a result of my lack of real connection to the work that I do. I feel separated from my work. I of course mean this in a dual sense, meaning that when I'm at my paying job I feel like I'm not able to work on my photography and that I'm always slightly detached from my conventional work projects. The day to day work is interesting but it doesn't consume me. I know this feeling is not exclusive to me and that there are many others who endure this same monotony of task. It's interesting that I use words like consume though, it's like I'm asking to be a workaholic. Shouldn't I be content with the "balance" that I have in my life?

pm

Let's just get this out in the open... I'm tired and want to go to sleep right now. The weekend came and went far too quickly and I did not get nearly as much sleep as I would have liked. It's really catching up on me now. I could easily turn off the lights in my office and pull a George Costanza by sleeping under my desk. Of course I would never actually do it (I can't fit) but the thought of it is definitely tempting. My stay awake strategy for the rest of the afternoon involves serious hydration (but not so much that it might lead to water intoxication) and the occasional jolt from one or two refreshing micro mints.

This week I have the goal to take some pictures for a winter themed photo contest. There are three cash prizes and I could use the challenge and the reward. The camera is coming to work with me tomorrow and the next day. I will be up early and home late, all in the name of photography.