home alone


last light of the day © Raffaella Loro

I realized this evening that is has been about seven years since I lived alone. I don't really mind it all that much, but there are moments when the apartment is completely quiet and I sigh inwardly because I'm alone. Those instances have been fairly infrequent, but when they do happen they happen late at night, usually after I've been out for the evening surrounded by people. I'm not sure what it was that set me off tonight. Maybe it was coming home to discover new spaces that I needed to fill (some giant plants have finally gone to live with their "dad"). The new emptiness of my apartment left me with a feeling of solitude rather than solace. However, rather than let myself descend into a momentary state of melancholy I've decided to put this time to good use. Today, while out for my daily constitutional, I stopped in at the book store and picked up one of my favourite shelter magazines and I examined the pages for ideas to steal for my house. This is always an activity that makes me feel better (even if I can't afford to make any changes right now). This exercise is even more satisfying now that I live alone, as I have only my own tastes to reckon with.