maison vide (and what happens when you're on top)


I definitely do not enjoy returning to an empty house. The stillness of the sound in an empty house is a bit unsettling. The drone of the fridge is hardly a companion. The sound of footsteps in the suite next door come too close and make me glance nervously around. I like to come home to a full blaze of lights, but I am too energy conscious to allow that. So instead I creep into a dark and lonely house. Thankfully it is only for a week. I really was not designed to live alone.

(later in the evening) I am not exactly helping things by listening to strange music from the sound symposium. The weird percussion is starting to freak me out.

(and even later in the evening) The crazy percussion still continues. I have been too lazy to get up and change the radio station. But as I sit here in this empty house, I have been considering the possible interpretations people might have at my attempts at humour. Previously I posted of my feelings of being unwanted... a lot of which stems from the lack of response I tend to get from what I like to consider rather humourous emails. I don't tend to use profanity... I'll admit that my subject lines are a little weird... and my stream of consciousness style of writing can be a bit much at times... (especially my overuse and inappropriate use of the ellipsis). But other than that, either I have just targeted the wrong email market altogether, or the recipients of my emails are stunned with my absolute brilliance and don't know how to respond. I'd like to go for the latter reasoning. I was complaining about rarely receiving responses to someone once, and that person said to me, "Raffaella, no one responds to me either. That's what happens when you're on top." I thought that was a rather amusing way of putting things into perspective. It made me feel better for about a day or so... but I'm back to questioning the reasons why my more original and heartfelt email messages go unanswered. For the time being I'll follow my brother's advice and try to forget about it. He claims I'll find a willing audience one day.