autumnal dol·drums


dol·drums (dldrmz, dôl-, dl-)
pl.n. (used with a sing. or pl. verb)

n. pl. [Cf. Gael. doltrum grief, vexation]

A part of the ocean near the equator, abounding in calms, squalls, and light, baffling winds, which sometimes prevent all progress for weeks; -- so called by sailors.

To be in the doldrums, to be in a state of listlessness ennui, or tedium.

John Russel had it right, sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. I can most defintely call myself calm at this time. The next two weeks I will be busy writing three papers, not a difficult or a boring task by any means. However, I still find myself somewhat dulled by the present experience. I should be relishing in my work, but I'm like an actor without method or motivation. I feel nothing, and instead I am moved about the stage like a prop. However, I have no genius director at my disposal to shake me out of my funk. I'm a one actor show, lacking a story to keep an audience interested or even to keep my myself interested in my performance. There that is enough metaphorical language for one paragraph. Sometimes I cannot help myself.

I am perfectly sane and boring now. My routine is monotonous and lacks all elements of surprise that make my life all the little bit more intriguing.

Yes, so this is me very bored. In an effort to make my recent blog posts more interesting, I have taken to providing these artistic charcoal rendered self-portraits. This particular portrait demonstrates my lack of excitement. I am expressionless. I am also practicing my bambi look, or more accurately, my cow eyes. In this portrait I am hardly the passionate scholar and lover of all things intellectual. Unfortunately I have no one to blame for this mood of mine. I would love to be able to make accusations that my mood is the result of being ignored by some nefarious fellow, but such is not the case. No such transgressions have taken place. My dramatics were meant for the stage.

What did the sailors do when trapped in the doldrums? I shouldn't ask, since I know that I have several essays to write. This moment of self-contemplation is adjourned.